Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
