ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
