I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
