i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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