Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
