life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
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