he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
is that a dick in a sweater?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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