i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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