I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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