And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
