operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
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