I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
