got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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