Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
