Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
