Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize