i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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