it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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