I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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