Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
