So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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