arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
