Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
