This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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