I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
