I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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