I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
