a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
