She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
