is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
