Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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