So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Fuck appropriateness.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
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i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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