What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
