I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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