the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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