Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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