What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize