I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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