Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Randomize
