i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
