90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
