There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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