I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
