It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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