Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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