Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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