you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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