um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
