Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
