so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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