can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
