my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
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The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.