I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Sober January is a disaster.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram