he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
