Pappa wants mamma naked
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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