I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
