Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Randomize
