Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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