shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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