I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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