Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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