He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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