I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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