It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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