I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
