You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
