all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
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a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
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And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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