He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
