I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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