Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
