She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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