Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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